| Um, hi? |
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| 05:43pm 06/10/2010 |
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mood:  blah
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Wow, haven't posted here in forever.
How is everyone doing?
Me? Well, its... different? Interesting?
I graduated in June, my student loan re-payments are already looming so I'm pretty much terrified, I'm doing a horrible job of looking for a career in my field... okay, honestly, I really haven't done anything in the way of looking, I don't know, I was so enthusiastic at first but somewhere I lost all my confidence and will-power, which makes me feel ever more awful.
I understand how Brandon felt though when he graduated. He didn't want to do anything and I bitched at him about it. But now I totally understand. The difference is he spent 3 months doing absolutely nothing while I've at least been working.
Well I gotta get off Brandon's computer or I would finish writing this. I'll edit it later. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| BRANDON PROPOSED! |
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| 01:42am 15/02/2009 |
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Uh, so this is pretty much the last place I am updating, sorry, but Brandon proposed to me today for Valentine's Day!!!
Usually he is no good at surprises but he actually managed to keep me completely in the dark for this, he did good ^_^
I'll put all the detail here...
So originally he was going to say he couldn't make it up for Valentine's Day and was going to show up and surprise me. But instead he came up Thursday. Marija, one of my roomies, was the only one who knew and she told us all that SHE had a surprise for us today and that we all had to be here at 3pm and couldn't be late so I wasn't expecting it at all. So we were all here and Brandon was in the back and I kept yelling 'Surprise!!!' because it was 3pm and the surprise was supposed to be here already... and Brandon walks out with a box of chocolates so I thought 'Oh, that's sweet' and I looked at the lid and it said 'Rogers & Hollands' so I got confused and he told me to open it and the he sat down in front of me and pulled out the ring box and asked me. :3
And then he made a point to say it was real and then he put it on the wrong hand (even though I had given him my left one, he was nervous though and looking at his left hand and didn't think about it XD)
After that he said there was something else and then left and came back with his parents and brother and my mom and sister! He'd asked me yesterday where I wanted to go eat for Valentine's Day so we went to eat with our parents. I guess last month he had called to ask my mom's permission and my sister cried for 2 days XD And I guess that is why my mom hasn't called me for the past 5 weeks (EVEN ON HER BIRTHDAY WHEN I CALLED 2 DAYS IN A ROW TO WISH HER HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!) because she was afraid that she would spill the beans, so I forgive her. I was so excited to see everyone and we had a great time. Then my roommates and everyone got Brandon and I some tea from Teavana for an impromptu engagement gift! <3
Now we are celebrating!
And he's already going to pick out his engagement band now, he had something in mind that he had to show me on Monday, we had to get mine re-sized so when we pick it up he is going to show me XD
MUAH! Love you all, Goodnight! |
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Read 16 - Post |
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| Happy New Year! |
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| 08:51pm 07/01/2009 |
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mood:  amused
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I don't really care if it is a week late, be happy you were wished it at all!!!!
Merh. I need to write in here more often now... I'll have the time to.
In 4 more days I am headed back to Schaumburg and it will be the first time I am there without Brandon... its going to be weird and lonely. I mean, yeah I have my roommates and I know it will be great to spend more time with them, especially since I HAD been spending as much time as I possibly could with Brandon since he won't be there.
Its just going to be so weird, I've never been there without him, even when we weren't dating... It would be as weird as if Lara were gone. And even though I will have my roommates... I'm mostly worried about the nights... the nights I will have to spend alone again. I'm so spoiled when it comes to Brandon now, it is going to be a big transition for me. It'll be weird to have him so far away and like I said, at night when I will be alone will be the worst. But I am a strong person and I know that, I know I will be okay. I'll adapt and we'll talk a lot and we'll still get to see each other every so often. He keeps saying he'll visit all the time but once he gets a job back home I get a feeling it will be a promise he can't keep. And I want to get a job myself... so that will make it even worse.
I just worry too because there are so many people that want to see him without me there... basically girls that want to see him when I'm not there. And I trust him... but I don't trust them. I don't trust most women as far as I can throw them. Especially considering the track record of most of the girls, that Brandon used to know, who decide they want to talk to him... yeah. Bah, it doesn't do me any good to worry about that stuff though.
On another note... I've been very aware of my own mortality lately... I dunno why, I've just been thinking about it a lot. I'm not the type to freak out about the fact that I could die at any moment but I'm also not usually as aware of it as I have been lately... It feels like a bad thing to be thinking about it so often. Even scarier was that the day it was the worst, Brandon told me he'd been thinking the same thing.
It is eerie to have someone say that... and it just makes me wonder more about my thoughts... for some reason, I often think about parallel universes and how my decisions in this one create other ones where I made different choices... and I dunno, it just raises a lot of questions... like do I still have an alternate consciousness in that universe? And if I do then isn't she a different person than me... does that mean everyone around me has other consciousnesses too? I think about all the bad things that happen to people and how LUCKY I have been. Why do I get to be so lucky? I know I believe that everything happens for a reason and that the universe has a way to work itself out for the best but is the fact that I am here now with such a good life purely coincidental? I mean, I don't believe the universe revolves around me or anything but I just wonder if there are there universes where everyone else has everything going so well for them too... I dunno, it is complicated and I don't have the time to explain @_@
Maybe some other time I'll go into it more or something but for now I am off.
Bye bye! |
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Read 6 - Post |
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| Dodeedooooo |
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| 12:17am 07/12/2008 |
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Sounds like a lot of people are having very shit-tatsic times lately... T_T
As for me, things are okay. I wish I had been more motivated this quarter but it just never happened... last quarter I was motivated like crazy but my work load was to heavy and I burned out... and I never recovered. -__-;
Brandon is graduating in 2 weeks... then we go home for break and then he'll be gone. So not really looking forward to next quarter... but the upside is I won't have him to distract me so much XD
Yeah... not that much of a plus side really. But although he'll be going home right away we don't know how long he'll be there... it doesn't seem like he will get hired from portfolio show but he wants to apply to two places, one in Champagne and one in Madison... so that is a possibility too. Champagne would be slightly closer to here but if he got the job in Madison he would be closer to a lot of you guys and he'd be closer to my family. Still, its going to be weird without him here and being around all the time T_T
And hey, I'll probably post more here rather than once every 2 months XD
Yeah... that's all. |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| Remembering... |
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| 05:32am 05/10/2008 |
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So it is 5:30 in the am and I am still awake. I think I have some minor food poisoning, which sucks but it has ruined my ability to sleep at the moment, still seeing as how I am supposed to be waking up in a few hours I figured I would take my mind off it here. And there has been one thing on my mind a lot today as I am sure, judging by your posts, has been on many of the people on my friends list as well.
The death of a classmate, of a friend.
After having thought about it all day, I drew out a lot of fond memories of Brandon Boaz. It made me regret that somehow I haven't really talked to him since graduation. Its weird, the two of us had never been on bad terms at any point in the some 16 years that I knew him. Growing up he had been a great friend to me, the two of us both grew up in Tremain and had spent the majority of our lives there so we were no strangers by any means. I remember the early hours getting up and trudging down to the bus stop to be part of the cluster of kids who got picked up first and hauled off to the elementary school. We suffered through that together almost our entire school careers. I remember winters with snow fights.
I still have a picture from my birthday party right after second grade with him in it, a big cheesy grin on his face. I always found it particularly funny.
I remember specific incidents too. One of those that I will always remember as one of the more shocking moments in my elementary school life. Brandon getting in a fight with Paul Schreiber, one of the funniest and most terrifying events ever. Our bus got so packed by the last stop and in 6th grade we ruled the back of the bus. But even though we had to wake up the earliest and get on the bus first and suffer the whole ride, those 6th graders that were part of the last stop always thought they were somehow entitled to our seats. One time after Jon and Paul had forced their way into the seat with Brandon, he got a little fed up and decided to sit on Paul's lap. He started bouncing up and down and calling Paul 'Santa' and telling him his Christmas wish list. Paul became furious and started chocking Brandon, we were all freaking out because we honestly thought someone was going to get hurt, it seemed that serious. But Brandon just kept laughing the whole time.
I'll always remember that laugh. He practically had a girl's giggle XD
6th grade was also the year he put the whole school in an uproar by running away before classes started. When he went and hid in the woods next door to the school.
The first memory I have of Tasha is because of him too. We'd had to go to the middle school for one of those stupid recitals. Brandon had known Tasha I think because of their older siblings but I remember them talking and how I had already thought from that point that Tasha seemed sweet.
Brandon had also been one of my surprise manga converts. My Love Hina manga will always remind me of him, he had seen me reading them one day on the bus towards the end of freshman year. He started freaking out because Brittany, a girl, was reading 'porn' on the bus XD
Needless to say, even if he was only interested from the half naked girls on the covers, he ended up as big a fan of the series as anyone else. I know he went and bought all of it himself eventually. I'm lucky I got the last volume back of it, I remember he had it forever XD
And I remember how mad I got when he started turning into a pot head. I vented to my sister about it one night, it was hard to see someone I had known so long choose that path for himself.
And I'll always remember our final reunion of the 'Tremain Gang' before he left to become a military brat. They were fun times, its too bad that we couldn't have had one more reunion before this happened.
But what I regret is that I made myself a stranger and I don't know why. We had become different people and chosen very different lives, yes, but we'd never been on bad terms in the whole time I have known him. I had no reason to not talk to him... but I guess I must have felt there was really no reason to talk to him either. Maybe I should have, not that it would have changed anything, I'm not that naive, but I regret that this is what it took to realize something so simple. That I'd forgotten just how much of life we had shared together.
It also is a bit shocking since he was one of the youngest in our class, he had only just turned 20 while some are already looking at 21 in a month or so.
All I can hope now is that whatever happens when we die is treating him well now.
RIP Brandon, you may be gone but you're certainly not forgotten. |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| *Selling Stuff* Figures - Negima, Suzumiya Haruhi, Manga - Gravitation, Fushigi Yuugi |
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| 08:45pm 29/07/2008 |
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You guys get the first heads up about this before I start posting on communities, I'll be posting there tomorrow.
I'm selling a few things that I don't want/will not use/have no use for. It isn't a lot of stuff but everything is in good condition, the figures aren't even out of their wrapping (Only the boxes were opened)
( On to the Goods! )
First come, first serve but I will take priority for people wanting the full set of manga rather than just singles.
I'll estimate shipping when item is asked for. |
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Read 24 - Post |
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| GAH! |
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| 01:25am 30/05/2008 |
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mood:  sleepy
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School Rumble is EVIL... EVIL I SAY!!!
Yeah, sorry about another little School Rumble rant. IF you guys only knew!!! GAH! IT IS SO SAD RIGHT NOW. It is one of those things where it is kinda good but also really sad. And there was a really cute/sad moment at the end of 275.
I need to find a School Rumble discussion board, like I have time for that, but still.
I am in for a busy weekend. Tomorrow I don't have to go into my class early but I need to finish my video and burn it to DVD so that is going to eat my time. And then I have to start my Final for that class. And then the rest of Friday will be...uh, something I can't say just incase it should spill the beans... and after that I will be having to do a ton of shit for the drag show @_@
I need sleep. I only had 5 hours last night and at this rate I won't get as much as I need.
Oyasumi-nasai~ |
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Post |
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| ~~~~~ |
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| 11:50am 27/05/2008 |
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mood:  hungry
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I am listening to Dir en Grey right now on Pandora. I missed listening to them so bad and didn't even realize it... I haven't listened to Dir en Grey in so long @_@
Wooo-ohhhhh-ohhhhhh-oh oh-ohhhh-ohhhh... Yah for Child Prey.
So I have lots of homework to do. I am working on some right now but I am just so unmotivated D:
Bah. I have a commercial to make and I am doing a ramen commercial so I had to pick some commercials and I chose all Nissin ramen commercials. I get to speed up the video though and do a lot of fast cuts so hopefully that makes it easier.
Bah. I have to go work.
I am so hungry T_T
Ja ne... |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| School Rumble... and my hair. |
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| 12:10am 24/05/2008 |
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mood: sleepy
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Gah... WHY IS SCHOOL RUMBLE BEING SO INCREDIBLY DEPRESSING NOW!!!!!!!!!! D:
Is such a light-hearted series going to end on this extremely sad note. FNWLNFIW ;GWFI;FOwfp;wfn;fn;FN;NEW;bge vws e;ngnsfbkuvb.... is what I have to say about it.
( School Rumbler Spoilers for Latest chapters, read at own risk )
Anymoo, uh, I bleached my hair. I was planning on dying it blue/purple but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do blue/purple streaks or all blue/purple... and I figured the streaks wouldn't look very good with my natural hair color... and I figured the dye wouldn't take all that well without bleaching it... so I said hell, bleach it all and see how it goes... It looks... different, it is basically yellow... not a bad yellow, it is almost platinum, the roots were really bleached, but it isn't like piss yellow either. And it turned out really even. So far mostly people either really love it or really hate it, more people like it though. Lara was saying it makes my skin look really nice since it brings more color in... though I almost think it makes it look too red... but I think I'll put streaks in since that would look cool and if it doesn't look right but the color is good then I will just color it all... maybe.
And it was the funniest thing since I realized this morning... do you guys remember the animated feature film The Swan Princess? I had a doll of Odette and my hair is the same exact freaking color as that dolls. Today in class we were capturing video and Courtney was talking to me and goes 'I have this strange urge all of the sudden to watch The Swan Princess' which pretty much made me freak out and I had to tell her about my realization XD
Yeah so, look forward to those pictures!!! :P
Well, I am going to bed,
Oyasumi-nasai~ |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Herrrrmmmmm.... Happy Earth Day~ |
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| 10:41pm 22/04/2008 |
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mood:  crazy
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Oh so on Sunday they did a Budget Cook Off for residents in Tree House. The challenge was to make a meal a college student would eat that was delicious, nutritious, and cost less than $10. We would be reimbursed for whatever we spent on it and there was no mention of what sort of prize we would win. I had signed up for it and only 4 people total had ended up doing so... but I still won! MUAHAHAHAHA! I made a Ramen Stir Fry with Chicken, I figured, ramen is a staple of a college students diet so it is something they would have laying around and it is super cheap. The meat is optional and could be substituted for other meats or left out completely, the veggies are cheap and you can buy a bag of 'stir fry veggies' that will be plenty for multiple servings of the meal, and the sauce only needs to be purchased every so often. I made it sweet and spicy, they said the only thing was they thought it should be a little less salty. But I won against Matt, Jarod, and some other guy who everyone agreed made the least flavorful meal. Brandon voted for Matt though. Boo! I told him I won't cook for him anymore because he was mean when I asked him what I should cook when I was signing up. But I will get a $20 gift card to Meijer :3
Um, in other news. Brandon and I didn't go to our 8am class this morning. Whoops. Bah, we don't do anything there anyways. I need to start getting some drawings done though.
And I really wanted to go on a walk tonight T_T It was so nice out. I need to start walking again. I am going to start dragging Brandon on walks.
Thats all I think. JA NE~ |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| Doodeedooo |
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| 10:07am 17/04/2008 |
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mood: tired
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I gave blood yesterday, I had my first bad experience of them not getting the vein right away D:
The stuck it in and started moving it around and it hurt SO BAD. I had never felt anything like that when I had given blood before, it was horrible. And she couldn't get the vein so she had to ask someone else to help so I had to sit there with it shoved really deep in my arm until the other lady fixed it and as soon as she did it was fine. It hurt. Now I really feel bad for my mom, they can never get hers on the first try and her veins will pretty much move, there have been times she couldn't donate because they like mangled her arm so bad with the needle D:
It sucked but it was fine after it got fixed.
And Lara has mono. No idea where she got it from but on Tuesday night they had to take her to the hospital (She went on Sunday and they told her she just had a really bad sore throat) and I guess the place she initially went to lost her blood and urine samples and they have no record of her being there... but she is at home now and she has already basically missed a week of school and now she will have to miss another... and I just thought about the fact that our lease signing is going on... I hope she has done that already.
Yeah, so it has been crazy.
And I have so much homework.
And I want to change my icons again sook, I have some new fun ones I want to use :P
Ja ne! |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| OHMYGOD. CUTEST FUCKING KITTEN EVER!!!!! |
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| 04:27pm 15/04/2008 |
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mood: crazy
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Anna sent me this on StumbleUpon... I WANT IT! I want to clone it and have one of my own and keep it a kitten forever o^_^o
And Kyle TOTALLY got Rick Roll'd earlier, it was the funniest thing ever because I realized it the second it started, I was like 'YOU GOT RICK ROLLED!!!!' and then I died laughing XD
Bah, I have too much homeworks. |
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Read 12 - Post |
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| Fweee! |
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| 01:03am 05/04/2008 |
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mood: tired
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So some parts of today were pretty fantastic. It was the end of my first full week of school... it is going to be a loooooong quarter. I got to be camera woman for my group today. We went and ate at Mitsuwa today so that was good. Yummy Yummy. And I got to see Brandon finish Half-Life 2 today as well so that was nice :P
Aaaaand I got to read School Rumble 286 T_T
It was sadness. I wanted to cry. It was all bittersweet and stuff and D:
Damn you School Rumble for playing with my emotions, Harima is such a good guy! Tenma is a fool for not realizing how much she is loved earlier!!! D:
School Rumble is going to be coming to its conclusion soon and I am excited and sad, I really want to know how it will end! We've had our ups and downs but I love this series more than ever now.
Also, we just finished watching Run Fatboy Run. YOU GUYS NEED TO GO SEE IT. It is funnier than fuck. I laughed harder than I have in a loooooong time. Really. It was funny and it was good.
Yep yep.
AND IT WAS LARA'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!!!! :D
I finally got to give her presents to her and she liked them! She got the little set of Graduating Pandas XD
She loved them.
And I saw her before she went home and she was talking about what Anna and Spencer got her... she said she liked mine better and I hope it was even a little true because I did put a lot of thought into them and I bought them forevers ago... and as far as I could tell (from a conversation about her party) they didn't have a gift for her as of two days ago... so yeah.
Merh.
Well, that is all. I hope you are all well!!!! ^_^ |
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Read 9 - Post |
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| Okay... this is weird. |
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| 01:12pm 28/03/2008 |
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mood:  contemplative
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http://bunchofnerds.com/2007/07/video/ahhhhhh-real-dolls-documentary-creeps-us-out/
Hmmmm. Okay I don't know if it was more A) Creepy B) Funny or C) Just Plain Sad
It is kinda weird. In the comments on the page you see people being like 'It isn't creepy, they can do whatever they want. At least they aren't hurting anyone.' Which is true and I agree, but I have a problem when they say 'At least they are happy.' because if you watch that thing, they clearly ARE NOT. You can tell by listening to them when they talk, they all say the same thing 'It is better than being alone.' they don't say it in a happy way, they are clearly people who have given up on even trying to have relationships with people, men or women because it doesn't seem like any of them have ANY friends. And know what disturbs me more, the way they do talk about women, their views are obviously VERY skewed and it is probably their generalizations that make it so they can't get a good woman, they don't care because they have these preconceived notions and would turn off any woman they talked too with them as well. These are people that have given up hope, not because they think it will make them happier but because they don't have another choice. And a couple of them do have some obviously latent issues they need dealt with.
And you can be okay with it and still find it fucking creepy, they are having a pretend relationship with a doll! They need to grow up. No it isn't much different than a fucking blow up doll, which I find creepy as well, these things just look more real.
It is funny though to watch, I laughed a lot, really hard, because of these people just sounding stupid or ridiculous. Honestly, it is really like 'How can you really believe something like that?!' It really is ridiculous.
It made me think about, which is ironic since Brandon and I were talking about it on the drive back here, how people are saying by the year 2050 robot marriages will be legal. Which makes me think about persocoms because that is essentially what we'll have by then, computers that have, more or less, humanoid bodies. They were saying some people will inevitably fall in love and want to marry them. In some ways, it is just a step above the people in that documentary, except there is more of an illusion of talking to a real person, because they would be able to move on their own, they could speak even if they are just doing so because of a program, they could mimic emotion so they would just be a moving, speaking, doll. I think somehow people are more okay with that even though they are basically the same. It is kinda strange.
Basically, in lots of ways I think it is better those people go on having their pretend relationships with those unmoving, unfeeling, unloving dolls rather than hurt real people... but babies die when they don't have human interaction, when they aren't held and loved... so aren't these people just slowly killing themselves? And even further than that... is that a good or bad thing?
Just a little thought after watching that documentary. We didn't finish it last night either since Brandon was so creeped out but we did skip so that we pretty much saw the rest of the important parts. |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| Hey Guys. Live Journal Strike. Please READ! |
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| 10:04pm 18/03/2008 |
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mood:  busy
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For those of you who don't already know, there has been a strike scheduled for Friday, March 21st, 2008, during which we hope to have many members of LiveJournal provide LJ with absolutely no content for twenty-four hours. This means no posting and no commenting. If you post elsewhere and have it set up to be posted through a feed on LiveJournal, don't do it. Stay away from LiveJournal for twenty-four hours. That can't be too hard, can it? I know some of you are probably quite active on LiveJournal and will find it hard to stay away for an entire day, just as I will, but this is something that needs to be done, to show the people running LiveJournal that we're watching the changes they are making, that we're paying attention, that we're discontent, and that we want to be heard and taken in to consideration. We are not simply users who can be tossed to the side and ignored. We are the people who make up LiveJournal. Without us, without the content we create, without our words, our voices, our creativity, our participation, there would be no LiveJournal. This is a fact, and it needs to be realized and understood and then taken in to consideration when making decisions regarding the way that LiveJournal is run. The strike is only a few days away, so there isn't all too much time to prepare. While this is unfortunate, it isn't enough to keep this strike from taking place. It will take place, the second it is meant to, and it would be best to have as many people take part as possible. Please, spread the word. Spread it fast. There are only a few days to organize this. If you find that you care about LiveJournal or care about the people you interact with on LiveJournal or simply want it to remain a place where you can entertain yourself without constant censorship and money-hungry practices being thrown in without the consideration of those who use the service, act now. If you don't wish to spread the word, that is fine, but please: refrain from using LiveJournal on Friday, March 21st. Do something else for a change. It's for a good cause. (:
For background on this strike and why it is being held, please read the following posts:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/394838.html
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/395310.html
To find out exactly when the strike begins and ends, depending on where you are located, please see this:
http://beckyzoole.livejournal.com/395125.html
What's this about?
* It's about free and ad-free LiveJournal accounts being abolished for new members, ignoring the advice from the newly-formed Advisory Board.
* It's about LJ staff trying to sneak this decision in under the radar, and when people found out, telling the users it was done 'to make the signup process less confusing'.
* It's about LJ staff failing to apologize for trying to hide the facts from view and for lying about the actual reasons for their actions.
* And finally, it's about the latest decision to hide certain user interests from the list of Most Popular Interests, some of them being fanfiction, bisexuality, sex and depression. This decision was not announced or explained in any way. Users found out for themselves.
-Taken from the journal of m03m
Icons to Support this:
   
-The rest of it, including the pictures and icons, is taken from pianoplayer2010. |
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ayaseyue's journal
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